How to help an alcoholic daughter or son

Dealing with your child’s alcohol addiction can be incredibly worrying and even anger-inducing, leaving you questioning, “How did it end up like this?” You’ve provided support and care, yet here you are. This guide aims to uncover the reasons why your son or daughter may have developed an alcohol addiction so early in life and offer advice on the next steps. We hope to provide clarity and support during this challenging time.

Reasons why your child might develop an alcohol addiction

The reality is that despite our best efforts, sometimes our children might find themselves struggling with alcohol addiction. It’s a challenging and painful situation and it’s important to remember that this isn’t about placing blame. There are many complex factors that can contribute to this issue. Here, we offer some insights into how your child might have ended up in this difficult situation, hoping to provide understanding and support as you navigate this journey together.

Peer pressure and social influence

During adolescence, the desire to fit in with peers can be overwhelming. For example, your child might have started drinking at parties to avoid feeling left out or to gain acceptance from a particular group. This social pressure can lead to regular drinking habits that spiral into addiction.

Mental health issues

Mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression or trauma can contribute significantly to alcohol abuse. Your child might have used alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming emotions or stress. For instance, a teenager dealing with undiagnosed mood disorders might find temporary fixes with alcohol.

Family environment and history

If there is a history of alcohol addiction in the family, your child may be more susceptible due to genetic and environmental factors. Additionally, exposure to family members who drink regularly or have a lax attitude towards alcohol can normalise drinking behaviour for your child. For example, if they frequently see adults in the household using alcohol to unwind, they might mimic this behaviour sooner than expected.

Accessibility and availability

Easy access to alcohol can play a significant role in early addiction. If alcohol is readily available at home or your child knows how to obtain it easily from friends or stores, they may start drinking at a younger age. For instance, a teenager who has older friends or ways of buying alcohol illegally might begin experimenting out of curiosity.

Lack of education and awareness

Without proper education on the dangers of alcohol use, children may not fully understand the risks involved. They might see drinking as harmless fun rather than a dangerous habit that can lead to addiction. For example, if your child hasn’t received clear guidance on the effects of alcohol from school or family discussions, they might underestimate its impact and engage in risky behaviour.

Is my son or daughter addicted to alcohol?

Determining whether your son or daughter has an addiction to alcohol can be challenging. It’s natural for young people to experiment but it’s important to discern if it’s a failed introduction to alcohol that needs a guiding hand or something more serious. Here are six questions that, when answered with ‘yes,’ could indicate an addiction to alcohol:

1. Does your child frequently drink alcohol in larger amounts or over a longer period than they originally intended?
2. Have they tried to cut down or stop drinking but found they couldn’t?
3. Do they spend a lot of time obtaining, using or recovering from the effects of alcohol?
4. Have they given up or reduced important social, recreational or educational activities due to drinking?
5. Do they continue to drink despite knowing it’s causing problems at school, home or with friends?
6. Have you noticed they need to drink more alcohol to achieve the same effects, or do they experience withdrawal symptoms when not drinking?

If you find that your child answers ‘yes’ to several of these questions, it might be time to seek professional help to address a potential addiction.

How can I approach my child about their alcohol addiction?

Discovering that your child may have an alcohol addiction can be a deeply distressing and confusing experience. The first step is to approach the situation with empathy and an open heart. Remember, this is a challenging time for your child too and they need your support and understanding more than ever.

Start by choosing a calm moment when both of you can speak without interruptions. Make sure to express your concern in a loving and non-judgmental way. Instead of accusations, use “I” statements like, “I’ve noticed some changes in your behaviour, and I’m really worried about you.” This can help prevent them from feeling attacked and becoming defensive.

It’s crucial to listen more than you speak during this conversation. Your child needs to feel heard and understood. Allow them to share their feelings and experiences without interruption. Show empathy by acknowledging their emotions and letting them know that it’s okay to feel scared, angry or confused. This can create a safe space for them to open up about their struggles with alcohol.

Avoid trying to solve the problem immediately or offering quick fixes. Instead, focus on reinforcing your unconditional love and support. Let your child know that you’re there for them, no matter what. You might say, “I love you and I’m here for you. We will get through this together.” This reassurance can provide a much-needed foundation of stability during a turbulent time.

If your child is of age (i.e. over 18), encourage them to seek professional help, but be gentle in your suggestions. You can offer to help them find a counsellor or support group and even offer to accompany them to appointments if they feel comfortable. It’s important that they know they don’t have to face this alone. You might say, “There are people who can help us understand and deal with this better. Let’s consider talking to a professional together.”

Is my son or daughter old enough for alcohol rehab?

Determining if your son or daughter is old enough for alcohol addiction rehab depends on the specific rehab programme’s policies. While some addiction rehab programmes do accept individuals under 18, others do not. This variation exists because younger patients often require different treatment approaches and additional legal considerations compared to adults.

If the alcohol addiction rehab centres you contact do not accept those under 18, you can still reach out to them for valuable advice on what steps to take next and who to contact. Many centres are equipped to provide guidance and support, even if they cannot admit your child directly.

At Oasis Bradford, we understand the challenges and concerns you may have. Even if we cannot admit your child due to age restrictions, you can count on us to provide you with the necessary advice and resources. We are here to support you and can direct you to appropriate programmes that specialise in treating younger individuals.

If your child is over 18, we offer a comprehensive and effective alcohol addiction rehab programme that includes detox, therapies and aftercare services. At Oasis Bradford, we are dedicated to helping your child achieve lasting recovery and a healthier future. Reach out to us today to learn more about how we can assist you and your family.