How to help an alcoholic

A woman in black and white struggling with alcohol in a glass in front of her

With millions of people around the world drinking alcohol regularly, it can be challenging to identify when normal drinking crosses into patterns that might indicate or lead to addiction. If you’re worried that someone close to you may be showing signs of alcohol addiction, this article is here to help you understand the difference and guide you on what steps to take next.


Boy drinking glass of brandy

The difference between problematic and non-problematic drinking

Figuring out if your loved one has a problem with alcohol can be trickier than it seems. When most people think of alcoholism, they often picture someone who’s always drunk, with red, bloodshot eyes and slurred speech. While these are indeed symptoms of alcoholism, they don’t capture the whole picture. Alcoholism can manifest in many ways, and it’s important to recognise the subtler signs too.

At this point, you might be here because you’re worried about your loved one’s drinking habits and seeking more information to confirm or ease your concerns. First, we need to determine what qualifies as non-problematic alcohol usage. After all, alcohol is legal and widely accepted in many countries and cultures around the world, meaning millions of people have learned how to respect and use it responsibly.

Let’s explore some example scenarios to understand this better:

Non-problematic drinking scenarios

  • Sally enjoys a few glasses of wine at her cousin’s wedding. She laughs, dances and has a great time. The next day, she goes about her routine without any issues or regrets.
  • Mark rarely drinks but on his 30th birthday, he has a few too many beers with old friends. He feels a bit rough the next morning but still makes it to his volunteer shift and doesn’t experience any ongoing problems.
  • Emma likes to have a glass of wine with dinner when she hosts friends a few times a month. She enjoys the taste and the relaxed atmosphere it creates. She never drinks too much and always feels fine the next day, maintaining her healthy lifestyle.

Problematic drinking scenarios

On the opposite side of the coin, it’s also imperative to understand when a person’s relationship with alcohol is turning into or has already become, problematic. Below, we take a look at some scenarios where drinking habits may be seen as problematic:

  • Jane has started drinking a bottle of wine every night after work. She often wakes up feeling groggy and has begun missing deadlines at her job, straining her relationship with her boss and colleagues.
  • Tom spends every weekend binge drinking. He’s missed several family events, and his health is deteriorating, with his doctor warning him about high blood pressure. His friends are worried, and his partner has threatened to leave if he doesn’t seek help.
  • James uses alcohol to cope with stress. What started as a couple of drinks after a tough day has escalated to several drinks every night. He’s become irritable and has trouble sleeping, and his performance at work is declining, causing concern among his coworkers and family.

The signs of alcohol addiction

Of course, it’s crucial to remember that the scenarios we’ve laid out aren’t the only signs to watch for. Sometimes, individuals struggling with alcohol addiction can conceal it well without displaying any obvious signs.

If you have a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right with how the person is acting, take the time to learn the signs of alcohol addiction:

  • Increased tolerance: Have they started needing more alcohol to feel the same effects?
  • Withdrawal symptoms: Do they experience shakiness, sweating or nausea when not drinking?
  • Loss of control: Are they drinking more or for longer than they intended?
  • Neglecting responsibilities: Are they failing to meet obligations at work, school or home due to drinking?
  • Social withdrawal: Are they avoiding social activities or hobbies they once enjoyed?
  • Continued use despite problems: Are they drinking even when it causes physical, social or interpersonal issues?
  • Unsuccessful attempts to cut down: Have they tried to reduce their alcohol intake but failed repeatedly?

Recognising these signs can be the first step in helping someone you care about.

How to approach someone showing signs of alcoholism

Talking to someone about their alcohol use can be incredibly challenging. Admitting the need for help with alcoholism is often difficult due to the stigma and taboo surrounding addiction. Many people hope the problem will be resolved on its own, but it rarely does. This is why, when approaching someone about their alcohol use, it’s important to express your concerns thoughtfully and supportively.

Here are some key points to consider during the conversation:

  • Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, private setting where you won’t be interrupted. Ensure the person is sober and in a receptive state of mind.
  • Express your concerns with care: Use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns without sounding accusatory. For example, “I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking more lately and I’m really worried about you.”
  • Stick to the facts: Point out specific behaviours or incidents that have concerned you. Avoid generalisations and focus on observable actions.
  • Show empathy and compassion: Acknowledge their feelings and struggles without judgement. Let them know you understand that this is difficult for them.
  • Avoid blame and shame: Refrain from criticising or blaming them for their drinking. Instead, focus on your concern for their well-being.
  • Offer support and solutions: Let them know you are there to support them. Suggest possible steps they can take, such as talking to a professional, attending a support group or considering rehab options like those offered at Oasis Bradford.
  • Be prepared for resistance: They might deny the problem or react defensively. Stay calm and patient, and reiterate your concern and support.
  • Follow up: Continue to check in on them after the initial conversation. Consistent support can make a big difference in their willingness to seek help.

brandy glass that is kept on table in office

Is this type of conversation classed as an intervention?

This type of conversation is usually a private, one-on-one talk where you express your concerns and offer support. It’s more about opening up a dialogue and showing empathy. Conversely, an intervention involves a group of people, often with a professional, in a more structured and aggressive setting.

The goal of an intervention is to motivate the person to seek immediate help. In a personal conversation, you gently encourage them to acknowledge their problem and consider getting support, focusing on care and understanding rather than urgency. Both approaches are about helping, but they have different tones and methods.

What if my loved one doesn’t want to accept that they have an issue with alcohol?

If your loved one doesn’t want to accept that they have an issue with alcohol, it’s important to stay patient and supportive. Avoid arguing or pushing them too hard, as this can lead to resistance. Continue expressing your concern and share specific examples of how their drinking has affected them and those around them. Encourage them to talk to a professional or attend a support group, but understand that change takes time. Keep the lines of communication open and let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to seek help. Your ongoing support can make a significant difference.

It’s essential to note that these conversations can become emotionally charged. If you feel like it’s heading in that direction, make sure to take a step back and approach the topic more gently later. Seeking guidance from a professional can also help you navigate these difficult discussions.

What are the treatment options for alcohol addiction?

When it comes to treating alcohol addiction, there are various avenues to explore. One of the most recognised and effective methods is rehab.

At Oasis Bradford’s alcohol rehab centre, we offer a comprehensive and compassionate approach to recovery. Our experienced team provides personalised care tailored to meet the unique needs of each individual. Through a combination of medical support, therapy and holistic treatments, we help your loved one address the root causes of their addiction and develop the tools needed for lasting sobriety.

Choosing rehab at Oasis Bradford can be a crucial step towards a healthier, happier future for your loved one.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an alcoholic?
An alcoholic is someone who has a dependency on alcohol, often characterised by an inability to control drinking, preoccupation with alcohol and continued use despite negative consequences. This dependency can lead to health issues and affect daily functioning.
How many units a week is classed as an alcoholic?
There isn’t a specific number of units per week that defines alcoholism. It’s more about excessive drinking patterns and their impact on one’s life. However, regularly consuming over 14 units per week is considered high-risk and may indicate a potential problem.